At the top was a baby-pink folder with the label "Pauling." Sorry, hon." She said with a laugh. "I always get those two mixed up." No problem." Martin tried not to sound irritated, tossing the file on her desk."Could you do me a solid and grab my sneakers while you're over there? I'm going to the gym for lunch." Kristen unhooked her foot from behind her knee, and wiggled her pink-painted toenails at him. He suppressed an eyeroll, and reached into the left drawer.Pulling out the sneakers, he could see that underneath them was a little pile of black fabric. Curious, Martin poked it with the toe of one sneaker, and it unrolled to reveal a tiny disheveled eyepatch of a thong, the first he'd ever seen in person. Melody didn't own any, only a cheeky pair of tiger-print briefs she'd bought as a joke for their wedding night. The fabric was a smooth, shimmery black except for the crotch, which had been stained white with-He slammed the drawer as fast as he could, and stood up."Marty? Hon? Are. Not spurting and splashing but rather masterfully decorating the cookies with a creamy white icing that looked like a gourmet chef had decorated the cookies. That was weird! Then he said, “Taste them,” and handed me one of the dozen or so he had just decorated. This night was so weird that I would have tried anything. I took one bite and was instantly in shock. Those cookies didn’t taste like sex. They tasted like normal sugar cookies with the best vanilla icing that has ever been made. “Holy Jingle Bells!” I thought, “Santa shoots icing. What is next?” Still in shock, he grabs my wrist and whisks me up the chimney to the waiting sleigh. We finish the west coast and head to Hawaii, which is our next to last state to visit since the International Date Line lies to our west and was the origin of his long trip. The warmth of Hawaii was an awesome contrast. We delivered toys to all the deserving kids and finished with the last house, which was the biggest house in all of Kauai. There.
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